Eclipse Government

Wow, what a month March has been. We have seen a drastic overhaul of the leadership system within the San Andreas State Government, a lot of that will be covered in this newsletter, including a public response to some questions by Weazel News. Whilst we will aim to cover everything, keep in mind that this is a time of change for the government and we require your understanding that we are currently in a transition period.

In Press Release #90 we announced the retirement of Governors Castillo & Osborn, Appointment of Governor Whitehorse. Shortly before that we also had the resignation of Governor Lewis Langley. Lieutenant Governor Emily Whitehorse was appointed as the new Governor of San Andreas.

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What is the best way that members of the public can voice concerns and communicate with SASG?

• Director Solomon Cobb wrote:

  • For general bureau-specific things, you may reach out to the relevant people on our points of contact page.
  • For complaints against specific employees, you can submit an employee complaint.
  • For general suggestions, comments, or questions you can utilize our correpondence box

The San Andreas State Government is aware of the recent tidal wave of theories swirling around Paleto Cove and the alleged alien space ship. While tales of underwater UFOs, vanishing boats, and mysterious hums make for thrilling bedtime stories, our Environmental Health people have traced these odd occurrences back to something far less sci-fi: oil dumping. It turns out the real alien invader is pollution. The hallucinogenic effects reported by swimmers and fishermen are likely the result of chemical exposure, not mind control rays from the deep beneath.

We would still like to tip our hats to Weazel Network for their extremely vivid imaginations and commitment to keeping the public entertained. That said, we encourage our more gullible citizens, you know who you are, to take a deep breath (preferably not near the water) and remember that just because it's on the internet doesn't mean it's true. Cleanup efforts may be underway pending budget allocations, and in the meantime, please refrain from sipping seawater and report any shady ocean activity to your local authorities. Public safety is our top priority, right after common sense.

Complaining citizen 1 wrote:It's so hard to get to the island, helicopters are too expensive and boats arent as fun as cars

Complaining citizen 2 wrote:we need alternate methods to cayo periko, i want to go party in style

You complained, we listened! We have sunk approximately $6.5 billion into a state-of-the-art bridge spanning some amount of miles between the mainland and Cayo Perico. This investment had absolutely nothing to do with us being able to possibly claim that the land belongs to the State Government, and everything to do with satisfying the needs of the general public.

This does not come without some caveats though, we will need to recoup the lost money somehow and our 20-something year old interns at the department of government efficiency are working diligently to decide which department needs budget cuts, and which public services will suffer least from a reduction in funding.

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If you find yourself thinking "wow I can't wait until the beginning of the next month to find out what is new with the San Andreas State Government, then our LifeInvader is for you! Just click the link above and give our page a like so your news feed can contain the latest and most up-to-date information straight from our Public Relations Bureau!

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  Solomon Cobb
  Director | Public Relations Bureau
  San Andreas State Government
  
  ✉ [email protected]
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