Press Release October 2021

Press releases made by the Department of Corrections on updates, employee adjustments, and stories from within the prison.
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Solomon Cobb
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Press Release October 2021

Post by Solomon Cobb »

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Opening Message
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Welcome to the spookiest press release of the year, October 2021! We cover a spooky employee of the month, a ghoulish inmate of the month, and a scary story of our own medical bay. Hopefully, your hearts can endure the thrilling tales of the month. On top of this, we also have our usual sections informing the public of any changes to the SADOC. Have a happy Halloween!




Employee of the Month
Each month here at the San Andreas Department of Corrections we like to bestow an honor on this month's best performing officer who has shown time and time again that they put maximum effort and commitment into their work. The officer selected for this prestigious award has proved themselves as a representation of how each officer working for our department should strive to be.

Employee of the Month October 2021
Questions for the Employee of the Month
We like to ask the employee of the month a few questions to get their perspective on the job and what makes a great officer, below are a few answers to common questions by our Employee of the Month:

Looking back, what are memorable achievements from your service so far?
When I joined DOC, it was because I wanted to work in the new Felon Reformation Division, which developed alongside me. The most memorable achievement would be helping to turn the life of a young man around through the program. Tracking his progress and feeling like I helped make a difference in someone's life really means a lot to me!

Another memorable achievement was earning a position in the Public Relations division, which has been very enjoyable! It's fun to do outreach events and write-ups for press releases!

Another achievement I am proud of happened one-night last month! I was able to maintain control in the prison when there were fifteen inmates and I was the only guard on shift! It was a little scary but with words and a taser alone I was able to keep order.

Moving forward what are the next goals as a SADOC officer?
I aim to help more people through the Felon Reformation Division!
I would like to convince Warden Cobb to let Groundskeeping put up a store for the guards on the DOC grounds!
I would eventually like to become a supervisor and help train new coworkers!

Any advice they would give to future prospects who might think about joining the SADOC?
The most important advice I can give is to never allow yourself to become hardened. Some days in the cellblocks are better than others; Sometimes we dance, sometimes we diffuse a hostage situation. Sometimes the inmates are respectful or regretful, sometimes they will try to hit you in the head with a fire extinguisher. Sometimes your compassion and patience can diffuse a prison riot and sometimes you are forced to pull your gun. The most important thing is to never allow the bad days to outshine the good ones! If it gets too much, take a breather, remember the difference you are making, and know that your coworkers will support you through anything!

Visitation
Has your wife, brother, husband, sister, mother, uncle, friend, or enemy ever been arrested and brought to SADOC? Well, you can visit them!
Two Irish meeting with a Chinese
Visitation at DOC is open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, including holidays!
There is a requirement for at least two Correctional Officers to be free to assist in visitation so if some aren't immediately available then feel free to come back later.

The visitation rules are as follows:
  • No physical contact
  • No whispering
  • No passing of items. Items that wish to be exchanged will be checked beforehand for contraband.
  • Maximum time is 1 hour ((15 minutes OOCLY))
For those that like to exploit visitation, we have a blacklist in place that restricts certain individuals, such as our MSIs, from being able to be visited or visit. Visitation is a benefit and can be declined for any number of reasons.
Inmate of the Month

Maxwel "Communist Zombie" Dwa
(Pronounced Duhvar apparently)

Mister Dwa is a Polish immigrant, a first-timer at the DOC and a very jovial and friendly fellow! He has had many hair-raising experiences as a helicopter pilot and runs a heart-stopping skydiving service with his brothers. He has a lot of very fun stories to tell, he loves Mean Girls, and though a language barrier leaves him a little confused to reality, his gentle disposition and heartwarming character was a comforting change through the scariest time of the year, and made him an easy selection for October's inmate of the month!

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"Zombie Russian Communist" - A polish interpretation

  • Note: In the interest of transparency, and being able to allow inmates to represent themselves this interview is direct quotes from the interviewed inmate and their quotes do not represent the SADOC's views and beliefs.
  • Why do you do illegal things?
    • Let me tell you story!
      We take regular Polish fly above fishing wood! We fly above many high temperature spots! Many people! We fly low so they hear! We lose megaphone so we use POLAND VOICE! White helicopter sees us and starts chase! We think is sky pirate so we fly away! Fly many hours from sky pirate and then 4 sky pirates chase! We get scared and call police on American phone. Police say sky pirate is them! We no believe! Sky pirate says stop or we shoot! Police on phone promise us is them so we listen. They tell us fly grape seed. Grape do not fly, helicopter do. We tell them we land mountain. Helicopter land mountain, we exit. Mean police point a gun in my face! He say "on knees." In Poland, this is rude. We get on knees and he puts pretty bracelets on me but I think is broken magnet bracelets because stick together. Then Bread Lady show up! She called bread lady because she smell like bread. We drive down mountain FAST. Bread Lady go ZOOM and we go off cliff 3 times. Very fun. Recommend Bread Lady Taxi. We make down mountain safe and she do one more epic ramp jump with fancy limo. Is black and white limo like tuxedo suit. Has party lights. We go to small hotel but boss call her and say "NO HE GO BIG HOTEL." Then Bread Lady tells me she is Serbian Princess! Amazing Limo ride.

  • What's your favorite thing about DOC?
    • Got to meet the Mean Girl celebrity! (Warden Lafleur) Is favourite movie in Poland!

  • What's your least favorite thing?
    • Least favourite is man who say the racist word. Very bad. Like American police. Except Serbia Princess, she is the good police.

  • If you could change one thing about DOC, what would it be?
    • My clothing yes, I would like change. Want Poland pirate pants. Thank you for offer. Please bring pilot pants.

  • What would you do if you were Warden for a day?
    • I would bring more Mean Girls ladies here. Very cool movie. And wants benedict of eggs with yellow cream. The food, not the alien face man or physician weird.

  • Is there someone or something you miss while being in jail?
    • My brothers! I wish they come hotel with me, but they not good pilot like me so they do get big hotel.

  • Why do you think you're in here so often?
    • Never been big hotel!

  • Is there anything you'd like to tell people?
    • Mister Corn (Warden Cobb) is weird. And I tell them Enjoy Maxwel jumps! follow on KYRGYSLAWBOOK!

  • What is your favourite horror movie?
    • Backdoor Slut 9.
  • What?
    • Whore movie.
  • No, like scary movie.
    • Shrek. Shrek look like man from sheep fuck country. The Whale man.

  • What is your favourite monster?
    • BIG FAT RED BOY WHO SAY "OH CONFIRM" WHEN GO THROUGH WALL! TERRIFY! Good monster. Very scary monster. Have the hive like bees.
    (We deciphered that he meant the Kool-aid man.)

  • What is your favourite candy?
    • I like beet.

The Ghost of SADOC!
It was 3am at the DOC. The crisp autumn air ebbed in with an eerie whisper through the iron bars. It carried the scent of fallen leaves and the crackle of them brushing on the pavement of the yard. I was alone on the night shift, the quietest time at the DOC.

As the heavyweight door to the cellblock clattered open, I was aware of how alone I was by the echo of my boots on the floor. I was not physically alone, as the cells are seldom empty, but the late hour had carried most to their slumber. Some snored softly, and others twitched in their sleep, perhaps dreaming of their beds back at home, and some were silent as the grave, unmoving in the dark. Its a little melancholic to be surrounded by people and yet have no one to talk to.

I decided to amuse myself with a little lunch break. Tea, a donut, and a chance to play on my phone lead me out of the cellblock, towards the locker room. To get there, I had to pass the medical bay. It is not as large as the ones at the hospitals, but the amount of lives it has saved is nothing to sneeze at. As I passed it, I thought of a guard earlier in the week that had succumbed to his injuries after a horrific fight in the cellblock. He passed on one of the beds in that very room. I didn't know him well, but he seemed like a genuinely kind person. I wondered how many people that room had seen pass over to whatever lay beyond the veil over the years. I let the image stay with me as I entered the locker room.
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It is ironic, that darker thoughts roused on a dark night can foreshadow dark coincidences because as I was just removing the teabag from the cup I heard a soft sound. It was the wails of a woman, crying her eyes out, not too far from me. I almost fell down from the startle. Someone crying is nothing to be afraid of normally, but being alone in a building where the nearest people are not only sound asleep but well out of ear-shot made me more afraid than I have been of any inmate I have yet faced.

I took a deep breath and decided between my fear and my duty to investigate. What if it was a lost civilian, who wandered towards the only light in a very big backcountry? What if it was an inmate going into labor in the nearby yard? What if it was one of my fellow guards about to clock on but receiving devastating news just before and hiding in the staff bathroom? It was my job to find oddities in a place of order and correct them. So I drew my taser, my only comfort, and began to search.

The locker room? Empty. The bathroom theory was a bust. And the armory was as silent as the grave. With a very slow pressure on the door and a pounding in my chest, I exited the locker room and peered into the hallway.
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I should not have been surprised to hear it coming from the Med bay. Loud and clear, a woman sobbing into her hands, sniffling and making little moans of sorrow. I stepped forward, the door behind me making me jump again as it clicked. I crept to the big wall by the door, glass and offering a full view of the bay. I found myself wishing it wasn't so well lit, because it gave clear and horrible truths.

It was empty.

I knew I already wasn't sleeping that night, so at least making absolutely sure that it wasn't an injured person, perhaps fallen off a far bed, might give me some form of bizarre closure. I approached the door and gently pushed it open. On cue, the wailing stopped.

I swallowed hard and all the reasons in my mind flashed as I slunk inside. Walking slowly, heart racing, I cleared to the end of the room. Amid the soft cushions of the bed and the metal machines and tools around the room, I found nothing out of place. No inmate, no guard, and no tape player to mark a cruel prank. I was starting to doubt myself, starting to wonder if maybe it was coming from my own imagination or perhaps it was an exotic bird on the lone tree outside.

And then, booming and everywhere at once, the demented roar of a clown laughing came from directly behind me, screaming into my ear.

I am woman enough to admit that I dropped my taser and woke up half the inmates with my screaming as I fled for the safety of the cellblock from the medbay. No doubt was in my mind that if I didn't need to pass that room, I'd have run to the lockers, clocked off, and run for the safety of home.

There is no doubt in my mind that someone or something is haunting the Medbay at the DOC.
Job Fair!
On October 9th, at 6:45 pm, a huge convoy of vehicles departed from the DOC grounds, heading in the parade to the Sandy Airfield! All in matching white and green, the procession was not to transport dangerous felons, but to entertain the masses! That's right! It was time for the SADOC and MD to join the career fair!
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With the lovely sun as a backdrop, every division from the CIC (Correctional Intervention Corps which is essential to the DOC SWAT team) to the CMT (Correctional medical team) was represented, including the newly formed FRD (Felon Reformation Division)! There was a photo op area, a track, a booth for ex-felons to sign up with FRD, and even helicopter rides!
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The track area was incredibly popular! It displayed all the vehicles we at the DOC use every day to assist in our work and gave the public a chance to take them for a spin on a closed course! Lights flashing, sirens blazing, the whole shebang! Vehicles to choose from included the durable Ranger, the speedy Scout, the dependable Riot, the baddy Caddy, the merry Dilettante, the always necessary Transporter, the intimidating TARVs, and even the pokey ol' prison bus (max speed about 100 when given a long straightaway!)
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The funniest moment of the day for this writer was seeing our own Warden LaFleur modeling an inmate uniform. Imagining her in prison as anything but a warden is difficult enough but actually seeing her in a white tank top and orange jumpsuit pants were like whiplash!
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The scariest moment of the day is when a guest attempted to steal one of the TARVs, arguably one of our most dangerous vehicles. They bizarrely drove it onto the closed course and proceeded to flip it onto its side, where they were promptly arrested.

The most amazing moment was not riding in the helicopter over the sky or getting to shoot the firehose, nor was it the amazingly fast response of Sergeant Schneider when a fight broke out next to our group photo...what truly amazed me was the incredible progress of a former felon, Ronald Bacne who was an ambassador for the FRD. His progress and how he gave testimony at the fair made filled us with pride and made me truly believe that there are no bad people in this world, just bad decisions; and those who wish to get back on the right path in life only need to reach out. We're happy to help.

The event was a roaring success from start to finish! We do hope to see you all at the next one!
The Surprisingly spooky History of the DOC
Unbeknownst to most, Bolingbroke Penitentiary has quite a spooky history surrounding it from tales of the Moose to spooky goings-on in the cellblock.
The Moose
Ever since the SADOC built, there were lots of issues with it.

The Moose likes to play seemingly friendly pranks on people such as opening up holes in the floor for people. It became such a problem that we began to use the new radio call 10-10 to notify other employees whenever the Moose was playing tricks on people.

Weird and posessed inmates
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We get many peculiar and odd inmates at the SADOC and some of them even seem like they're possessed.
For example a few nights ago there was a wolf-man inside of DOC. The Warden being the super duper nice person that he is attempting to feed the wolf-man and lay down a newspaper for it to do it's business on. The wolf-man didn't like this and decided to attack the Warden, taking a bite out of his neck.

Notable Promotions

ImageCorrectional Officer IImage

#711 Cole Richardsun
#708 Mia Adams
#707 Dexter Kray
#689 Trevor Zelias

ImageCorrectional Officer IIImage
#581 Adam Fax
#713 Ana Malkovich
#654 Devin McDonald
#671 Kiril Komorov
#103 James Pendragon
#706 Jessica Okami
#710 Theodore Finch
#712 Alfonzo Banker

ImageCorrectional Officer IIIImage
#678 Gareth Delacroix
#695 Trixie Bankshot
#698 Sean Payne
#701 Leonardo Harris

ImageSenior Correctional OfficerImage
#693 Mike Patrick
#533 Audrey Hartwell

ImageSergeantImage
#629 Caroline Mathew
#660 Sarah Williams
663 Audrey Martin

ImageLieutenantImage
#646 Katie Schneider
#645 Steve Blata

ImageDeputy WardenImage
#521 Kourtney Lafleur
#431 Yuki Nakamura
    Phone Calls
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        When an inmate arrives with a brand new iFruit 69 they will have it quickly confiscated from them. However, if they wish to retain their phone till they enter the cellblock to make a phone call then they can request it.

        The 10-15 can use the phone call for any number of reasons such as letting their mom know they're going to be in prison for a few years, telling their significant other to come to visit them, or getting a friend to feed their pet while they're incarcerated.

        Phone calls are a privilege, not a right. Any Correctional Officer has the right to decline you for a phone call for any reason they see fit.
        Recruitment Status
        Recruitment
         ! Message from: Human Resources Command
        Recruitment for the San Andreas Department of Corrections is OPEN as of 21/06/2021. Please see below on how to apply.
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        • Age: Must be over the age of 18 and no older than 55.
          • (( Must have an Out of Character age of 16 years old ))
        • Citizenship/Residency: Must be an American Citizen at the time of applying, and have been a resident of San Andreas for no less than 12 months.
          • (( Must have over 5,000 XP on the character you're applying on ))
        • Criminal History: You must not have any serious crimes on your record (will be dealt with on a case to case basis)
        • Multiple Employments: You may not be a member of LSPD or LSSD at the time of hiring, as these are full-time positions. You may have a part-time position while working at the SADOC.
        • Mental/Physical Fitness: As a Corrections Officer, you must be able to maintain good mental and physical fitness. You will be tested on this during our hiring process.
          • (( As a faction, we hold a high RP standard, we will help you of course, if you're new. But you must want to learn and grow ))
        • Additional Requirements:
          • You are required to fill out an application online, you must have access to a computer and be able to use it.
          • You are required to pass an extensive background check, where your criminal record, previous employment, traffic violations, and any affiliation you may have had in the past will be checked.
          • (( Must be able to dedicate at least 5 on-duty hours a week ))
          • (( Must have a clean admin record for the past 30 days, this is also handled on a case by case basis ))
        Closing Message from the Warden
        And that ends our Spooktober Press release. As always, if you have any questions, comments, or anything you can find my contact info just below here.

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        Solomon Cobb
        Vampire Warden
        San Andreas Department of Corrections

        [email protected]

        Other Contact Information

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        Kourtney Lafleur
        Bloodthirsty Deputy Warden
        San Andreas Department of Corrections

        [email protected]

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        Trixie Bankshot
        Correctional Witch III
        San Andreas Department of Corrections

        [email protected]

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